


Out of the Woods

by stubliminalmessaging



Series: Fic!February 2015 [12]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M, but not as sad as i meant it to be, this is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-12
Updated: 2015-02-12
Packaged: 2018-03-12 03:05:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3341207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stubliminalmessaging/pseuds/stubliminalmessaging
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It had been seventy three days since Ian had last spoken. When he started getting up and showering and eating by himself Mickey thought they were out of the woods.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Out of the Woods

**Author's Note:**

> titled after the tswift song of course
> 
> ALSO it should be noted that until tuesday i'm going to be at my parents' place aka a Place With No Wifi so i won't be able to post any of my fic feb fics until then. i'll be posting two fics a day until i catch up once i come back but i'm sorry i nadvance for the delay! have a good weekend! :)

                It had been seventy three days since Ian had last spoken. When he started getting up and showering and eating by himself Mickey thought they were out of the woods. Ian was back with the world of the living, every aspect except for the lack of verbal communication.

 

                Living with Ian after he started on his meds was rough to say the least. It took him a month to adjust to the new cocktail of meds he was on and he was practically a doll. He just laid in bed for a month, eyes dull when he wasn’t crying. Mickey and Mandy got him out of bed to shower and put him in fresh clothes and changed the sheets on their bed once every few days and everytime he went right back to the far side of their bed. Except for the time when he didn’t.

 

                One morning when Mickey came in to give Ian his meds, Ian sat up in bed and looked at Mickey silently. Mickey had no fucking clue what to do when he did that. He was awake, he was sitting up, looking better than he had in weeks, though still so skinny and probably weak. But he didn’t speak, just stared at Mickey, who did the first thing he thought of: listed off things Ian might need.

 

                “You need water?” Mickey asked, watching as Ian shook his head. He got up from the edge of the bed and picked up Ian’s glass, intent on bringing it out to the kitchen. Ian reached out and took Mickey’s wrist, drawing his attention again. “You need something else?” Mickey asked, and as if on cue Ian’s stomach gurgled. “You want something to eat?”

 

                Mickey’s heart jumped into his throat when Ian nodded. He turned his hand to grip Ian’s that had circled his wrist and squeezed gently, warming his chilly fingers up.

 

                The food thing had been the first of many things that Ian did before he got on meds and remained consistent afterwards. He’d dressed himself (though he insisted that Mickey keep showering with him) and gotten out of bed. He even started helping Svetlana out with Yev, though she watched him more carefully than she used to after their impromptu Disneyworld road trip.

 

                About a month after he got used to his meds Ian even initiated sex with Mickey again. Mickey had almost ruined it by being so cautious and gentle and constantly asking if Ian was alright and assuring him that should he change his mind that they could stop at any time. Sick of Mickey treating him like he could shatter at any second, Ian took charge and gave it to Mickey. Still, he was silent, panting against Mickey’s neck and nuzzling at the countless marks he’d sucked into his pale skin. It worked well enough for Ian because Mickey didn’t treat Ian with such care again. He still found himself missing Ian’s voice, remembering how he used to moan and curse and hiss filthy things into his ear as he pounded into him. He had to remind himself that Ian was still _here_ and that he was better.

 

                He had selfish times when he thought of how Ian had been before, chatty and frankly annoying, and got frustrated. He wanted to shake Ian and shout at him, cry and beg him to be rambly again. He missed the days when he could tell Ian to shut the fuck up. He missed Ian teasing him, cracking stupid jokes and telling animated stories. He missed Ian greeting him in the morning and wishing him goodnight. He missed his laughter and the easy cheerfulness. He still smiled and he still communicated that he was happy, but it felt hollow and incomplete.

 

                Instead of venting his frustration on Ian he deflected it and took it out everywhere else he could. Svetlana got snapped at often and Ian’s family took some heat too. He even broke Lip’s nose when the fucker had implied Ian was traumatized by being abused by Mickey. Ian was at the top of the short list of people Mickey would _never_ abuse, right above his son and his sister and a handful of other people. He’d also developed a taste for harder drugs than he’d used to be into, particularly coke. He told himself he was doing it recreationally and that it wasn’t a problem. He only did it when someone offered it to him or if one of his brothers left it lying around and so it wasn’t like he had a dealer or went out of his way to get it. He wasn’t addicted and it wasn’t a problem.

 

                Mandy came to visit for a week and she narrowed her eyes at him whenever she caught him at it and he always gave her some excuse. Presumably she told Ian and their brothers because from then on he found much less powder lying around the house. Fortunately whiskey did the job. Not as _well_ , but it helped him cope.

 

                He could tell Ian judged him for his increased drug use. He could smell the booze on him and feel it in his sloppy kisses and the taste of his mouth. He found sketchy pill bottles in Mickey’s pockets and threw them out and at any given time Mickey could go through the garbage and find something or another he could get high on. It was hard not to get mad at Ian when he did things like that and the only reason Mickey didn’t was because it allowed him to deal with Ian. He couldn’t take it out on Ian when Ian was the thing he needed to vent about.


End file.
